Here I Am..This..is Me...

 My story ..because I never had good friends... i was isolated..dont remember any memories of hostel i cherish food or trees...because I never had a close friend probably I wasn't in any group i was bullied in my school ,college,workplace (many  male dentist tried to take advantage of me) and after marriage again no positive experience except my loving husband... so it's not only college....i am a introvert and very sensitive person..but thats how I am...but but it makes me creative and study hard ..so i love my emotional side..and i dont regret who I am😊

Oh..Toronto..where do I begin ...when do I say I love you ? We moved here in July 2018,from USA. It was a major culture shock after living in the States,for 6 years, Well moving here was a great big change!! We were used to the American way,and now we had to get used to the Canadian way! I really love living here,after slowly moving into this beautiful city we now call Home. Lot has happened in this past two years ... We tried two IVF cycles and that didn't work out. We both mourned and I cried ...and cried ...But then slowly snapped out of it. and went to the CNE the Canadian National Exibition. then I ended up with Chronic Kidney disease due to the IVF medications. Toby was really shocked and upset moving to the big city after living in serene apartments. He was so scared of the elevators and the noisy streets.He refused to go for a walk initially, now after two years he has slowly adjusted and love his daily walks around the block and Rosedale. Toby also fell sick a lot in 2019,...

Toby well my dearest Jack Russell takes naps and stay at home very seriously. He is very well adjusted to the recent Covid19 Lockdown  or Stay at home called here in Canada. He is a fighter and a globe trotter anyways so these situations aren't new to dear Tobs. He loves snuggling under the covers,  and sleeping in on rainy days like today and doesn't' want to go out if it rains because it wets his paws and he doesn't like it very much. Toby is a very stubborn,opinionated JRT and he has a mind of his own. Even though I can still try to assert I am his boss.. Utltimately he is the "Boss of the House". He rules the House rountines,the comings and goings, and guests are screened with his nose security. No hand washing not allowed into the house.It's Toby's rules!!! We meet his Girlfriend a two year old Shitzu sometimes, when we go down from or apartment for a walk. So Tobs says mom it's ...

I had been aching to have a dog ever since I took care of good old Toby... Well the elder one who was 14 years old.He was a sweetheart little dog who walked into our hearts and moved in so to speak into our home at Camden. Long story short sometime around our Anniversary in September last year, Ganesh finally agreed to search for a dog,well it was just search at first.... But then I was too excited that he even agreed to think about it... I couldn't sleep,I started thinking of dog breeds and researching where to get a dog. We even asked Kathy for a few tips... On our Anniversary 2nd September,after watching a movie in AMC, we stopped by a pet store and enquired about Pet Adoptions,unfortunately since it was a Wednesday there weren't any adoptions that day... But then we decided to come back on Saturday.. So on one fine Saturday morning,we got up and began our search for our little ball of Fluff!!! We first started with the local ASPCA in Lake Mary, we so so man...

Feeling sad and helpless.. Everyone gets pregnant easily...except me,why do I have to suffer.. Every time I hear a pregnancy announcement,my heart breaks into a thousand pieces. If I would have had my child in proper time,my child would be with me right now... I feel sad and depressed...really don't know what to do...

Days have passed and summer is on... Our relationship is as always in ups and downs.. We got a much needed boost when we met Toby. Well if you really look closer,you would realize that Toby is a dog!! Well he is actually a dog..ooooh...How much I love dogs everyone knows! We grew up with pets like dogs,rabbits etc over the years. Our childhood was filled with so happy times.. Then over the years things just moved on till we got Lucky... She was a gem of a dog,and no one can replace her.. Well Toby is also like that he's loving,and very caring towards us. He was very quiet and subdued when we first met him... Now he's like mostly living here...taking care of me and spending time. We both are really enjoying his company and we have really made him  feel more than welcome at our home.He is a little kid who loves his treats  and generally loves things dogs love like walks and playing around. Our relationship has become much better as Toby e...

Well here I am again...after a few months. Nothing much has happened over these three months,since April.. Except that spring is over and Summer is marching on.. Well we passed this Summer Soliastic which meant it was officially Summerrrrrrrrrrr!!! Oh god...it'd too hot to go out or to be inside without the Ac, Ummm well it's fun to have the sun shining well. And God's warmth spreading all over the beautiful earth.... I have started falling and spraining myself and am  trying to post myself to India thru the postbox at Camden. Ohhhh...that had been fun till I started hurting my legs and ankles... It's been hurting my ankles ever since I fell down from the apartment staircase In mid June...Ever since that time,my ankles never really healed... But then I guess...... That some way I wanted to post myself to my dearest Mom. So it's become a family joke,that I fell near the Post box, making Ganesh think that I want  to go through ...

Love is a many splendoured thing... A emotion that has always fascinated man,for time immemorial... Love has always interested me,since I was a little girl, reading fairy tales and storybooks.... Was always hoping to find my prince in shining armour or  hoping that when I closed my eyes that,my prince  would wake me up with a kiss..from my sleep... Over the years as I grew,I had many various thoughts how love  should be or how marriage should be. All that stopped just a few months ago, when I had to go to India for my brother's marriage, and  had to leave Ganesh behind.... Just being away from him,for just 48 days... I realized that Love isn't something we need to seek... it's just like happiness is within us... Love is my Ganesh...I am not being too mushy or poetic... Love is my husband..,and nothing before,nothing ever after will be like him... Sure we fight,sometimes we want to slit each other's throats... But most of the time,we are so coochie...coo.. That most p...

Life as I know it is a great struggle... Sometimes we struggle with our emotions,sometimes with our feelings, and  many a time we try to struggle with with words... Simply expressing our feelings becomes so much difficult and upsetting,that we try to avoid it, So much that we try to escape communication with our closest and  dearest friends and family members... we prefer to escape and run away rather than face our fears.... Why is it that we can judge others behaviors and not look inside our heart to see  how we behave badly..and burn ourselves without expressing our feelings... Maybe it's just our ego blinding us,or is it that  we are so stubborn to bow down in front of even our loved ones... We bow down in front of God isn't it,in our temples,churches,and mosques.... then why cannot  we bow down and  leave our ego and bow before our parents,husbands or wives.... A simple act of compromise.... It can mend a relationship to a greater extent than holdi...

Life as they call is a journey as everyone says.... Experiences change me,and will continue to change my perception of the world.. I have met many people over the years,and made new friends.. Travelled to many new places and learnt new cultures. My life is shaped with such rich experiences.... This year 2014, in particular is a Travel year...as I should otherwise call it a Globetrotting year... Well you can call me a Global citizen....which in many ways I fit to this description very nicely. You see I was born in Chennai,India....and brought up all over India... Lived in Delhi,Mumbai,Port Blair.... and oh yes the United States of America when I was very young.... Have been traveling since I was a three month old..,.and yes have been flying since then.... I love flying,the excitement of checking in,climbing the aircraft.....taking off...landing... Everything excites me and like a kid in a candy store I awe at the miracle of flight... This year I have travelled from Orlando to Chennai, C...

Today was the day I was the saddest for the rest of my life... My parent's and brother have as usual turned against me which is nothing new... My life is turned upside down, My doctors have said that we can't conceive normally,and that we have to go through a lot of medical treatments to conceive...  Our whole world came crashing down.... I have to go through Laproscopic Surgery. I was supposed to have the treatment here in Chennai...  But I have no support from my parent's as they are sitting as usual on their high horses.....  The Other side,my mother in law cant come and help me as she doesn't want to.I have no one at this moment of time. At this time,My dearest Love of my life...my Husband comes into the picture... He is the one who has held my hand in my pregnancy and miscarriage.... He is the one who can protect me and support me much more than anyone else... I blindly trust him. Since I have no one,I can't even expect many things... But th...

My little angel.... Why did you come so suddenly and leave me empty handed one day.. Just yesterday you were in my being and today you decided to leave... My little one,I am blessed that you chose me to be in my womb even if it was for a very short time..I will always love and cherish your presence in our life.. Life just isn't fair and it doesn't go as planned.... One day we are full of hopes and dreams and then one day all those dreams come crashing down.... My little one,my little baby... Appa and Amma will always love and miss you... every day that we are alive.. Even today you are just alive in our memories and  will always be our first born... We love you so much my dear....

It seemed just yesterday,that I was praying to God to gift me a lovely gift for my Birthday.... and God listened..God has his reasons for every delay and every thing happens for a reason... It was just another normal Thursday of Spring...the day I realised....that I am going to have a baby... and suddenly..things seemed so clear... Why god had delayed the baby's coming... Why god wanted us to come to Orlando... Why god wanted me to quit my hopeless job at the bank... It seems he has a answer for everything..... Suddenly everything seemed so crystal clear....and life seemed purposeful and It had a meaning.... Baby dearest...I welcome you to our world... Hope that you have a nice nine month stay in my womb,and  I hope that I give you all the nutrition and foods that help you grow strong and healthy... I will love and cherish you every single day ever since you formed in my womb  and became a invisible motivation force for me... I feel so much love and happines...

Marriage ......has made me a much more balanced human being.. the sharing of a life with another person has taught me many things like caring,love,gratitude and so many other wonderful things...People used to say get married and your life will change and you will begin to enjoy life after marriage,that time I used to scoff at such ideas....Now when I myself took a plunge into holy matrimony,it has made me realise that it's not a bad deal after all.. Having someone waiting for you when you come tired after a long day at office,Someone who calls many times a day just to find out how you are,how is you day going on,makes me feel important as much as my mother used to do when I was in my home...My husband is a very kool,and calm person,who is very much a family guy,and he is most happy among known faces and close family members... He cares a lot for every minute details of my day and routine and makes a extra effort to make life easier for me everyday..........I am fortunate to ha...

"Relationships aren’t about being perfect. It’s about losing yourself in love and letting go of your insecurities. To grow as a person and find about yourself that you can only discover when you’re with that special person. The best part of being flawed is trying to become better. Not because you strive for perfection but because you strive to see your loved one happy and you’d do everything and anything to make sure that happens."

Have you have ever the feeling that you have known someone for a lifetime... even if you know them for a few minutes....It seems as if they were always a part of your life... Never present in person..but always been in your background....of your life.. Soulmates are said to be such people...They can be friends,lovers,family members.... Anyone who is a part of your life today...come at the right time to teach you some important lesson... Some soulmates come when your life is lacking something or if it's a desire that you have expressed... Such soulmates come forward and enrich your life...Maybe it was a need for love or companionship.. Maybe a desire for friendship....Soulmates come out of nowwhere as if god was hearing your call all along..... Your loneliness may have been the reason..or just that you wanted someone to hear you... Soulmates can be temporary or permanent in your life..depending on the need that you have expressed.. Some people stay and some move on...No ma...

Sometimes in life,we are always in a dilemma whether the path that we have chosen is correct or wrong... and we never seem to be 100% sure that we are doing the correct thing.... I mean whether it is in Life,Love or Work... How can we be totally sure whatever decision we take is the best and in our own interests... Sometimes we have to give up many things that we held so close to our heart....and move on... Sometimes we have to leave some people mid-way in life and go on to newer people... Such people who we leave behind can be friends or lovers... People who mattered once.... Now don't matter anymore.... How is it that we can be sure when we break up with such persons,that we are doing the correct thing..... Then sometimes we meet people who are totally wrong for you, but yet we feel so much unknowingly attracted to them, that we can't seem to get them out of our minds..... Such people mean something to us... and yet we can't totally have them to ourselves....

"Realizes that maybe its not the letting go that tears you apart. It's the holding on. It's not the forgetting, it's the remembering." Have you ever had the feeling that you are trapped in a rut...and life is not moving at your pace...You are forced into circumstances and you just aren't allowed to lead your own life..Your family forces you to accept things that they want...How many times have you said yes to everyone... Done things for people..and never once Someone has done something for you.... When was the last time something nice happened in your life....? For me,that has been ages ago....Life hasn't been very kind to me... Neither have people around me..Everyone just wants their own agenda... People are selfish and mean....No one cares for my feelings or happiness.. I just have to keep on giving and not receive any appreciation in return..... I hate it that I am alone and I have no one to call my own... Maybe thats why my family takes m...

One month..a whole one month has gone by in this new year... and already the year seems to be a old one.. as the charm of the new year has gone by and things have moved on... Atleast I seem to have moved on... I broke up with someone who I felt I was meant to be, when I realised he was not making a commitment to me... Men what happens to them when, We say marriage....They scoot... The best way to get rid of a guy is to either say you want to get married or say I think I might be pregnant... nothing makes them run faster than a scared deer. They run with their tail between their legs... aka in this case its their so called manhood...which isn't much to talk about as many of them aren't men... Men are always scared of commitment....... Just scaredy cats,who are ultimately going to break your heart..... In my career,too I seem to have moved on.. I recently completed 3 years in ICICI,which is a great achievement in itself,considering the fact three years ago, I ...