Here I Am..This..is Me...

September is over..... and the Bank's Half yearly closing holiday is tomorrow... As we close our accounts for the half year... as in the good old days,when computers weren't available... Let us close our half yearly accounts in our lives... Lets see let me take a stock of what has been..and what could have been in my life.. Well....the year started with hope and anticipation.. of promotions,marriage and many other things.. Well..the much expected bonuses..and pay increments came..in March.. But Marriage has so far eluded me ,past so many years.... I wonder why is it that I am very successful in my career and friendships.. but,why is it that I am still alone and not having someone to share my life with? Is it partly my fault or is that the play of the so called stars or horoscopes... that have prevented my marriage.....? As of now.... I have a complete life,friends,family .. and a good job..I feel complete... It would also be nice, If I had a husband to share

Life is pretty stressful nowadays...and I was completely burning out... When I decided that I needed some rest mid-week..and stayed at home... Life is a constant roller coaster ride..Work,friends ...and more Work... and then oh yes...marriage proposals...the most stressful... How can you make up your mind...How can you decide he is the "One"?? Is it his age or is it his education... I believe that any such judgements should be made by myself... Not to be confused with others.... I am easily led by others thoughts... being a Piscean... When major decisions are to be made...I feel that I should make it myself... Hmm...Now..where was I? I forgot...Snoooooooze..Come on these things are too taxing on my delicate heart.. Let me sleep and get up and think about this... Oh well..Going back to my rest...

These past few weeks..have been like a whirlwind... spinning me around like a top,meeting new people and making friends... Some people I have lost forever...Some I have gained... Many people have come into my life..and shaped who I am.. Many people have left leaving a space in my heart to be filled....by someone else. This is a month of endings and renewals... Old friends like Kunu remain by my side despite everything.... New friends are supportive and helpful to me in many ways... There are some people who I met just 2 weeks ago and now they are no more part of my life...Oh well..It's a month for endings...and new beginnings...

They say soulmates occur in your life...after a hard period of hardship or heartbreaks that you may have undergone or maybe you have seen this face maybe in your dreams or thoughts.. I never had such visions... I had been hurt so badly..by someone..sometime.. and I had stopped believing in love and life.. I wanted to end my life as I was no use to anyone...and No one wanted me around... I started having weird dreams... umm...well the vision of Prince Charming is still existent...hehe Oh well...Lets see Soulmates are people who come into your life to teach you a lesson or make you grow as an individual... They can be friends,relatives or lovers... They can become best friends...stay for some time...teach you to heal and move on... Or they can stay forever eternally by your side..guiding you like a Guardian Angel .... I have had an oppurtunity to meet many soulmates in this lifetime.. Some of these people, maybe are connected to me in a previous birth... Some I can recog

Like I read somewhere... I came alone and will go alone.. I have no one..Even family members are selfish and want their own work.. Giving and Caring for anyone only brings me humiliation not appreciation.. People are only with me,when they want things from me..not otherwise.. Life is not worth living...because I don't get any support from anyone.. nor do I get any appreciation from my family..... I find it sad that I don't have a shoulder to cry on and that I have to weep alone... I have no family...and just a few friends.... I came alone and will die alone...

As we end another weekend... I wonder how so many months of the year went past..so soon.. This 2010 is winding down to become an old lady from the young bride that she once was... For heavens sake ...we are in the 9th month ..September to be exact.. Lets see our mid-year ..Hmm....had fun...had fun..more fun... Had Heartbreaks...and more.. Made more friends..lost some forever... Gave a smile...greeted a old friend..made new contacts... Networked...Basically grew as an a individual... Haven't had such a fun year before.. I guess this year is me....and I can make it happen...

Satya...means truth...and I guess thats what Satyajit is or Kunu as I call him...He just calls a spade a spade..and doesn't mince words... He is my bestest friend...and now a brother... Since we fight and make up...now we have become closer.... and have started becoming a solid support of each other... Actually he has turned into a rock-solid support...to me. He hates to see me cry and definately hates it when I cry at work... I guess I am tooooooooooooo emotional for the corporate world... and that hurts...my feelings...when I get kicked.... But Kunu...starts his lectures...and 45 mins isn't enough for him... left to him he can keep advicing me forever...After all he is a caring person... and being a Little Bro..he hates me shed a tear...... Am fortunate to have Kunu by my side...as he makes life bearable... Atleast for the time when he smiles and makes me cheer up....